Letting Your Nanny Go

In many families, the relationship with the nanny is similar to that of an additional family member. The nanny is the person you trust with your children. She is the person you trust in your home. She is the person your children look to for support when you are not home. Regardless of how close you are with your nanny, letting her go is never easy. With the downturn in the economy impacting the way most of us view our finances, some families are forced to cut their nannies from their budget. Here are some tips - for breaking the news to both the children and to the nanny - about having to let the nanny go:

The termination conversation: It is best to give your nanny written notice of all of the terms of her termination upon informing her of this news. Be prepared to give your nanny a letter of recommendation (if she is leaving on good terms) and any severance pay you find suitable.

How much notice should I give my nanny? At minimum, you should give your nanny enough notice to allow her to begin looking for another job. While two weeks' notice is standard in most jobs, you may want to give your nanny more notice. Some people feel that giving two months is adequate, but others are hesitant to give this much of a notice because of fears that their nanny may be bitter or resentful and not perform her duties as usual. It is not uncommon for your nanny to feel hurt, especially if her relationship with your children and family is strong. If you feel in any way that your nanny will have a retaliatory attitude (perhaps the terms of termination are not amiable), trust your instincts and let her go immediately.

Severance packages-how much is suitable? Usually, two weeks' worth of pay is suitable as a severance package. If you are letting your nanny go because of an economic hardship, then prepare to let your nanny go with enough time to allow for this severance.

For the children-make the transition smooth: When the time is right for you, discuss with your children that the nanny will be leaving. Let them know that it is not their fault that the nanny is leaving. Don't tell them that you are firing the nanny. Give your children as much comfort as possible during this conversation and if the nanny is leaving on good terms, make sure the children know they will still be able to write to and/or see the nanny in the future. After the nanny leaves, do your best to keep a similar routine and similar structure to your day as when the nanny was on staff. Keep your explanation to the children simple and easy-let them know that the nanny has a new adventure and that you will be staying at home with them more now.

Communicate your value in the relationship with the nanny. Yes, she is an employee of yours and the decision to fire her may be a necessity, but if you are leaving each other on good terms, make sure to maintain contact with her. You never know what the future may hold. Your household income might experience a shift upward and you may want your nanny back one day, even if only to babysit.