For Nannies: What to do if you disagree with your employer's discipline plan

It should have been part of the interview process that your employer convey to you what their discipline style and procedures are, especially since they will be expecting for you to enforce these rules. While the interview paints a rosy picture of optimal scenarios, let's face it: we all end up in the trenches at some point. In the heat of a child's meltdown or a pre-teen pouting spell, the parental guidebook on how to handle discipline might seem far from reality. What do you do, then? Your primary job is to keep the children who are in your care safe, so do you implement your own style or make up your own rules? Do you throw the parents' discipline system out the window? What if the parents have no discipline program in place and there is no child discipline? What do you do as a nanny if you completely disagree with, or simply can't execute the parents' style of disciplining the children who are in your care so you are lacking nanny discipline?

My employers are too lax with their discipline. Do you feel that your employers lack a discipline system for their children, and therefore the children are out of control while in your care? The best thing to do is to sit down with your employer and ask him/her what their expectations are of their children's behavior while they are absent. Once this is established, discuss what the consequences are for violating these expectations. If the parent does not feel the need for consequences, discuss your concerns by putting the child's safety at the heart of the discussion.

My employers are too harsh with their discipline. Do you feel that your employers expect you to enforce unreasonable discipline rules? So much of being a caring nanny is finding the right fit and being comfortable with the family prior to taking the assignment. Essentially, if your employer expects you to physically discipline their children, this could put your entire career in jeopardy. You should never physically discipline a child in your care, nor should you be asked to. However, if you completely disagree with a strict discipline routine, you should evaluate whether or not the job is right for you prior to taking the assignment.

I agree with my employer's discipline style, but lack effectiveness in executing it. While it will no doubt take the children some time to get used to you, make sure that they know that their parents support you and you are a united front in caring for them-discipline being part of that care. If needed, sit down with the parents and the children so that the kids know the consequences for bad behavior are the same as when their parents are home. If needed, implement a rule chart in the house so the kids can be reminded of the rules while the parents are away (for older kids this may include a chore chart and schedule). Remember to use positive discipline whenever possible. If you need to find your own style to execute effective discipline, then do so. If you feel that your style deviates too much from the expectations of your employer, make sure you have a conversation with the parents and problem solve effective techniques together. More often than not, a parent will want to work with you to help you be effective.