With the recent tragedies in Haiti and Chili, many families are considering adoption as a way to help children who were orphaned as a result of these earthquakes. Adoption is no longer just for couples struggling with fertility issues. Here are a few things that every family should know when considering adoption as an option.

1.  Domestic or International Adoption? Which is right for you? You will want to consider:

a. the costs of both (costs can range from a low of $11,000 to a high of $40,000 or more)

b. the wait time (depending on the country and child chosen, wait times can be significant, or, in times of urgent need for placement the wait time can be minimal)

c. the number of children available

d. medical and social history

e. legal concerns of each process

2.  If choosing a domestic option, the next decision you need to make is whether you will choose private adoption (newborns/babies), foster child (older children and siblings) and whether you have a preference of choosing a child with the same ethnic background as yourself, or if you are prepared to raise a child from an ethnic or racial background different than yours. You have already, or may want to, consider adopting a child with special needs. Many times, the costs associated with adopting special needs children are lower and wait times are shorter.

3.  Determine who will assist your family with the adoption (licensed private agency, independent attorney, or facilitated/unlicensed agency adoption). Adoption laws vary from state to state and are constantly changing. It is recommended that parents looking to adopt hire an attorney to help them with the details of the process.

4.  Once you’ve done your research and have determined which options are best for you, you will want to begin the adoption process. While the process is slightly different for domestic than it is for international adoption, the process is essentially as follows:

f. Make contact with an adoption specialist who can answer all of your questions and concerns.

g. After you have researched which adoption service or agency you are planning on using, request an information packet.

h. Create an adoption plan (some things you’ll need to consider are whether or not you will want an open adoption, where the birth parents will continue to have contact with you after the baby is legally yours, or a closed adoption).

Some adoption resource websites: www.adoption.org, www.adoptuskids.org, www.adoption.com, adoption.state.gov, www.holtinternational.org, www.allforchildren.org

Towards the end of the adoption process, families should think about their childcare needs. Families may chose to hire a nanny, work with a day care center, or stay home with the child. Each family has different reasons or circumstances for choosing to go back to work, to work from home, or stay at home with the newly adopted child. Whatever your decisions and circumstances are, work with your childcare provider to make the transition into your home a smooth one for your new family member.

 There are a variety of things to consider when looking into a preschool program that is best for your child. You will want to find a preschool that works for you in your community and attend an open house or informational session so that you can get a feel for the environment, meet the staff, look at the curriculum, and gain knowledge about the teaching format in order to determine if it is right for your child. Some preschools act as daycare centers and there is not a lot of structured, educational activity. Many preschools offer a structured curriculum.

Depending on your budget, you might be looking at private preschools: some of these offer a multi-lingual approach, some have an arts- or music-based program, some focus on science and math. Some preschools are a few days a week, some are five days a week. Most preschools are half-day programs.

Once you find out what your community has to offer by way of preschool programs, you will want to consider whether or not your child is ready to attend. Some children start preschool as young as 18 months; others don’t begin until they are four years old. Here are some things to consider with your child to determine whether he or she is ready for preschool:

Physical readiness: Not all children entering preschool need to be potty-trained. There are some private preschools that offer diaper changing. Whether or not your child is potty-trained may be the deciding factor in which school you choose. Some stay and play preschools (class is usually held for a few hours one or two days per week) don’t require that the child be potty trained since the parent stays with the child.

Cognitive readiness: Your child needs to be ready to sit for short periods of time and listen to instruction. Many preschools have circle time or story time activities that will require your child be able to sit calmly for small stints. Your child is most likely ready for preschool if he or she shows an interest in music, colors, ABC’s, and/or 123’s.

Social readiness: You may have had an opportunity to socialize your child prior to taking the leap to preschool. Your child may not yet be an expert at sharing, but they should know what the word means. Your child may show interest in playing with others, which is a good sign that they are ready for preschool. You may want to hold off on preschool if your child has problems with biting, hitting, screaming, etc.

Emotional Readiness: You may choose a stay and play preschool, where you stay with your child, or a different program where you drop them off. If you are dropping your child off, you will want to make sure that your child feels comfortable saying good-bye to you, knowing that you will return later.

If you have determined that your child is ready for preschool or will be ready for the upcoming semester, here are some follow-up questions to help you with your research. Ask yourself what you want in a preschool in order to find the one that is right for you and your child:

Full day or half day?

Full week or partial week?

Potty trained or not?

Public or private? If private, what is offered in your community and what curriculum areas would you like to see emphasized?

For working parents, is there a day care option before or after school in case you have a late day and need that service?

Getting your child into the preschool of your choice may or may not be competitive. So if you live in a city such as New York, you will most likely want to begin your search early (some Manhattan parents begin their search early on in their child’s life, considering how competitive some of the applications processes are); if you live in a more rural area, you will most likely have less competition to get your child enrolled in the preschool of your choice.

The word “au pair” is French meaning “on par” or “equal to,” indicating that the relationship an au pair has is intended to one of equals. Usually an au pair is intended to become a member of a family, albeit temporarily. The au pair is usually a foreign-national domestic assistant and ideally both the family and the au pair reciprocate in learning about one another’s culture. The au pair will typically be a young person who lives with a host family and provides childcare in exchange for room and board and a small salary.

Each country that hosts au pairs has different criteria for the au pairs and the host families. In the U.S., a host family’s relationship with an au pair is one where the au pair lives and studies in the U.S. for one to two years while providing childcare for the family. The rules of the au pair program in the U.S. include that the au pair:

• has his/her own private bedroom
• is given meals
• compensated with minimum wage
• given 1 ½ days off, including a full weekend each month
• given two weeks paid vacation
• complete an educational component of 6 semester hours of academic credit or its equivalent, and be given the first $500 toward the costs of this coursework at an accredited institution
• not be asked to work more than 10 hours in a day or 45 hours in a week

Potential au pairs for placement in the U.S. must meet the following criteria:

• be aged 18-26
• have professional or practical childcare experience for at least 200 hours if caring for a child under the age of 2
• commit to staying in the U.S. for one year and be prepared to provide up to 45 hours of childcare per week
• have completed high school, or the secondary school equivalent
• proficiently speak English
• have no criminal record

The U.S. EduCare Au Pair Program is available for families with school-aged children and allows that the au pair work no more than 10 hours in a day and no more than 30 hours in a week. Under this program, the host family pays $1000 for educational expenses and the au pair is responsible for completing 12 hours of academic credit.

Au Pairs also work with families who have children under age 2. The au pairs placed in these families are required to have at least 200 hours of child care experience with infants under two.

When considering hiring an au pair, many families choose to hire an agency to deal with the paperwork. Many times these agencies will ask for an application fee or program fee (varying from $5k-$8k) and will use these funds to cover expenses related to the arrival of the au pair (including airfare, mandatory 32-hour education sessions on child development and safety, medical insurance, and making sure that the hiring complies with government regulations).

The benefits of having an au pair are plenty. Not only does the host family gain a new family member who has skills as a child care provider, but the family benefits by learning from another’s culture. Some families will host a French au pair, for example, if they want their children to become more proficient French speakers. The au pair benefits from the relationship by sharing his/her culture and learning of a new one while feeling at home in his/her own accomodations while taking classes and getting paid at least minimum wage. If you think an au pair is the right choice for your family and are looking to hire a nanny, the au pair option might be a perfect one for you.